It's interesting living the type of life I do because I meet so many different types of people. And from all these different types of people I get different perspectives on my own life.
I've gotten reactions from all over the board. Some people think that I'm just a vagabond. Avoiding life and any real responsibilities. Some people think I'm rich travelling the globe visiting countries
and leaving whenever I feel the need. Some people
think I'm poor cause I'm sitting on the curb wearing clothes from the salvation army. One of my favorites was by D. Buchannon who thinks of it as being on the Professional Leisure Circuit. Going
from one place to another just doing whatever leisure activity suits the desired destination. Obviously painting is the type of activity you take anywhere. So things are good on the circuit.
I'm making my rounds, visiting, painting, learning.... just basically being a professional. That sounds all nice and dandy, and it sounds like I'm just living the life. But there's another side to it as well.
The serenitity of home
I think I never realized how nice it is to have a home that you love and that has your vibe all laid out on the inside, not in design elements or objects, but just in the accumulation of good feelings and good experiences. The older I get, the more I miss the house I grew up in.
On the other hand, since I don't have a place that I can retreat to that is a constant, I have to find that same security and mind state within myself no matter where I am. So my 'home' is inside of my head. It's not a physical location. Some people find that state of mind when they enter thier house, I pull that state of mind out whenever I need it wherever I am. That's fine and all, but it's just more mentally demanding and it tires me out sometimes.
Not knowing where you'll be in the next six months.
There's something to be said for routine. There are times when I'm jealous that I can't just get up in the morning, not really think about anything, take a shower commute to work, sit at a desk and just check the 'to do' list and the 'inbox' for the tasks that need to be done. Then walk home with a fat check and get on with your life. I have to make up what I want to do everyday. If I don't, I don't do anything. It sucks when you have too much free time, it tends to get wasted. So I force myself to not have free time. I want to stay as busy as possible, but I want to fill my time with things I want to be doing. Not something that someone else wants done. Besides, I don't have enough time to get done what is important to be now. I couldn't imagine how anybody gets anything done when forty hours of the week are gone.
"...out of college, money's spent, see no future, pay no rent.... all the money's gone, no where to go.... .but oh that magic feeling..... no where to go. No where to go."
Sense of community.
I think this is one of the things I miss most. I have friends on both coasts and I have people to climb with, paint with, bike with, etc. It's actually quite nice to have the friends that I've made over the years in so many different places. But there's something about living in one area for a whole cycle of seasons. You begin to develop roots. My roots are shallow and dispersed all over the country, it's hard to try to develop on two coasts at once. This is one significant setback to my career as an artist. On the other hand it is also a positive aspect to my career as a travelling observer. But the job market for travelling observers who just want to see the world, digest it all and do it again seems to be pretty slim in our current economy. The most annoying thing about my lifestyle is the amount of goodbyes I have to say. I despise saying goodbye. The tears, the sadness, etc. It's so annoying. I wish I could just take all my friends with me, but no one else wants to live the way I do. They like security and all that jazz.
No choice
Sure I could complain about things, but in reality this lifestyle was a choice. Just like everyone else's lifestylye is a choice. Knowing that the way things are is the way I intended them to be, gives me a certain satisfaction that I could never find till now.
